Putting a lid on broadband use C/Net News.com Comcast slaps 1% of its broadband users with a "too much usage" warning. We currently have four machines networked via Time-Warner's Roadrunner so I worried while reading the intro of this bit, only to discover that one user who got {pardon the urban pun} capped "used his cable modem service to watch the BBC, have video conversations and trade DVD-quality home movies with his family in the United Kingdom." Still, since there is no usage limit language in the agreement, this dude should sue.
No Clapping, Dancing at Mass, Vatican to Warn Reuters via Yahoo My Darling Wife and I like to haul the kiddies into the Big City to an African-American Catholic church where this "directive" will be roundly ignored.
Insult of the Week The Register {UK} The Canadian political insult "an evil reptilian kitten-eater from another planet" is knocked from the top spot by this one just in from India: "our own Government agency behaves like a stupid dumb pumpkin-faced potbellied dunghead."
The Unsexy List Nerve.com Our first article in two days not about Bush.
Monday 22 September
Bush to Tell U.N. He Made 'Right Decision' on Iraq Washington Post And by November he's going to have to convince the voters of the same thing, because this and the economy {Enron} will be the campaign issues.
Liquorice risk to men's sex life BBC We had 4 biological kids despite my passion for black licorice. Imagine if I had been eating Coffee Crisps instead.
PCs call Liberal leader a ''kitten eater'' Canada.com Oops, this happened last week, but stuff filters down slowly from Up North and how could I ignore "He's an evil reptilian kitten-eater from another planet"?
Ontario told to ready for Isabel CBC Talk about overkill: "The province's head of emergency management encouraged people on Thursday to tie down anything that could fly away from the house and garden areas." I can just see the Toronto version of my mother out there on her balcony, dragging her swinging rocker inside the condo.
Beatles Rework "Let It Be" E! Online They should rework "Let It Be" because the song, as Phil Spector designed it, is a horrid drone.
Wednesday 17 September
The Worst Jobs in Science Popular Science I worked at a Cancer Research Center and cleaned toilets, emptied trash, drove obnoxious power-mad scientists home from the airport at midnight and worked as a night watchman, turning prostitutes and beggars away from the door, but, as crappy as those jobs were, none of them match up with collecting worms from cattle intestines.
Art Bell Returns to Radio as Weekend Host of Coast to Coast AM Coast to Coast AM.com I don't know if our Canadian readers are hip to Art Bell or not. The first time I heard his show I was driving the kids up to Detroit for the Red Wings' Stanley Cup Victory Parade. It was about 4:30 a.m. and I was scanning the dial for something to keep me awake and Bell was interviewing this fellow who gets phone calls from famous dead people. He was in Europe, for instance, and got a call from Edgar Allen Poe. Bell treated this nut as if he were telling the absolute truth. However, Bell's popularity took a huge hit when the Y2K thing never hit and he later "retired" to take care of his son who had AIDS.
Cure for waning libido Herald Sun {Australia} Even more fodder for thought: "Melbourne researchers have unveiled the secret to reawakening waning libido in women in their 30s and 40s: testosterone." Combine this with the first headline and we can blame the libido for problems of the heart which is what has catapulted the likes of Dr. Phil into prominence.
Is Buddhism Good for Your Health? NY Times So, there's your answer...travel within...loose the libido and ego and you may be healthier, since meditation reduces markers of stress like heart rate and perspiration. I don't think Buddhists live longer...all that sitting just makes life seem longer..
Without Glue of Euro, Bond May Dissolve NY Times I've always wondered about their ability to forge a broad enough consensus. NY Times Login: edportals password: edportals
Tuesday 16 September
State of Emergency WRIC Virginia readies for the Big One. Ten bucks says Kay has already left the state.
Marsden has heart bypass London Telegraph It was June, 1964 and the really cool two or three guys in our 8th grade graduation class were out there, slow dancing to Ferry Across the Mersey with the two or three cool chicks in the class. The rest of us stared.
The Path of Hurricane Isabel
NOAA Weather Command
On Friday, the night before Co-Editor Kay and her husband Jim went camping, I ICQ'ed her about the chances of a hurricane interrupting their bliss. Well, they're camping along the Virginia coast and take a look at this map. They are directly in its path.
Blackout: Conesville did it?
Coshocton Tribune
Sure, blame it on, eh? Conesville is less than twenty miles from our driveway here in Hooterville.
Actor John Ritter Dead At 54
CBS News
Ritter, whose main talent was of the stand-up, slapstick variety, was unusually effective in the 1989 Blake Edwards movie Skin Deep, in which he played a womanizing, drunken writer. It's a pity he wasn't allowed to tap that side of his talent again.
Dennis Miller jabs Democrat all-stars
WorldNetDaily
Since his stint on Monday Night Football Miller's jokes have made a hard right turn, which is fine because the left certainly has more than its share of comedians. Check out his comment concerning West Virginia Senator Robert Byrd. It's hilarious and is very close to what some of us in our family have said about an unnamed beloved uncle.
Barry Column Turns Table on Telemarketers
AP via Yahoo
Speaking of very funny guys, take a look at the latest battle Dave Barry has himself involved in. This guy's a hero.
Lawyer to sue Jews for plundering Egypt
Swisspolitics.org
The funniest line of this pathetic grab at attention is "This is serious, and should not be misread as being political against any race. We are just investigating if a debt is owed." Our ten year old Mike read this and cracked "Is this The Onion?" Sadly, son, no.
Families say money trail leads to Saudis
The National Post {Canada}
Why would this be a surprise? Something like 15 out of the 20 9-11 terrorists were Saudis. It stands to reason that support must run deep.
Thursday 11 September
Christopher Hitchens: Don't Commemorate Sept. 11
Slate.com
Good ole Hitch justifies my Darling Wife's decision not to light a memorial candle today at a September the 11th service at our local church, though I'm sure she shared none of Hitch's loogic.
Senators press Bush for info on EPA´s actions after 9-11 attack
Waste News
Muddled thinking from our next president? Hillary Clinton will attempt to block a vote on the confirmation of Utah Gov. Mike Leavitt as the new EPA administrator because she is not happy with the Bush administration's response to environmental risks following the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks in New York. Earth to Hill....this guy was in Utah in 2001, a long way from Ground Zero. Stop grandstanding, please.
Mother, son sentenced to prison for illegal Web pharmacy
CNN
What also bothers me is an ad run on many sports talk shows across the nation here in the States. You call up, "answer a few personal questions and a doctor will review the answers later in the day and determine if you are eligible to receive cheap viagra." How legitimate does this sound to you? Speaking of what I've been told is the magic pill, here's a headline from today that claims Viagra(R) Can Take Effect in as Little as 14 Minutes in Many Men, Study Shows. Meanwhile, scientists are hot on the claim that a native South African tree is a natural Viagra. Watch this get regulated. Finally, Viagra's new rival Levitra has chosen Iron Mike Ditka as its spokeperson. I think Dick Smothers would have been a better choice.
Photo of the Day
Yahoo
Yikes, we are slowly becoming Canadianized!
Wisconsin cheese makers think naming idea cheesy
billingsgazette.com Cheesed Off: The American Cheese industry is fighting a European scheme to ban foreigners from using popular cheese names like feta, Parmesan and Gorgonzola. How silly this stuff is. Maybe we should sue to get them for using electric lights or the telephone.
No sex please, you're American
Manchester Guardian
Speaking of European views of the States, check out this snide little article.The goal of these programs is not to maintain virginity till the honeymoon, it's to get kids to at least 18 before they have one, two or three kids and jam up our welfare rolls, not to mention screw up their lives.
Clarett charged; Ohio State, Tressel ready to cut ties
Sports Ilustrated
Something about this case bothers me. I am not in any way dismissing what Clarett did, and he probably will have to do some community service as a punishment, should he be convicted. But, how is this worse than what happened to Steve Belllisari, star quarterback, 3 years ago when he was busted for drunk driving? OSU didn't ice Bellisari as they are Clarett. They must have more on Clarett than is being disclosed.
Study: Windows cheaper than Linux
News.com
So says a Microsoft-commissioned study. And an O.J. commissioned study says that he will look for the killers on every golf course in America.
Pastor defends sermon on Islam
Indianapolis Star
Indy pastor, not the brightest bulb on the block, likens Islam to the KKK and Hitler. The problem with this seemingly innocuous story is that it is likely to be used as propaganda abroad by American-haters.
Monday 08 September
Depp sorry for 'anti-US' quotes
BBC
Many thanks to frequent commenter BIL for this follow up, the idea for which probably came from a scared movie exec.
Melee Erupts Following NASCAR Richmond Race
Washington Post
Hardly surprising that the Bubbas were at it again, eh? I don't want to appear elitist, but this is the story of NASCAR in a nutshell, isn't it? Race round and round, kick a little butt, drink a few beers afterward.
Flutist's collection stolen from car
St. Cloud Times
Anyone else have anything strange stolen? When I was wooing my Darling Wife-to-be, some 28 years ago, I took her to see Rod Laver play John Newcombe, at the old Olympia in Detroit, and we lost my bowling ball, prescription sunglasses and her Biochem 660 notes, two weeks before her final.
Humor keeps hope alive in troubling times
CitizenOnline.net
How about personal rub-ups with the rich and famous? The writer of this link wonders how the late writer Henny Youungman would view the current economic times. Back in the same workplace where I was a night watchman, I also worked in transportation and I drove Youngman from the airport to the hotel when he flew in for a local benefit. The first thing he did when he sat in the passenger's seat was to unbluckle his belt and then he undid his pants. They were too tight and he let out a loud sigh. The company veep who went along with me for the ride soon launched into a series of questions: "Henny, you must know jokes aout everything! Do you know any about...chinese laundries, for example, or wooden spoons?" A visibly perturbed Youngman shot back "Look, I go on stage at 8:30 tonight. That's when the jokes start." Later, after we dropped the veep off at work, Henny loosened up and we traded laughs on the way to the hotel, and he ended up giving me his address, saying "I'm always on the lookout for matierial."
Python chews out of UPS box
Bridgeton News {New Jersey}
Let's run this thread a little farther and find out if anyone has had a similar work experience? The worst work story I ever had was the murder of the son-in-law of TV DIrector Norman Lear. The lad, a college grad student, was killed in the alley one block from where I was a night watchman. The killers then took his keys and went to his apartment and also killed his wife and child. The cops questioned me the following night about sounds, sights, etc. I don't believe they ever found the killers.
Tuesday 02 September
Students dread being called on in class
Toronto.Canada.com
This is news? I was terrified of old Brother Cyril who taught us Latin in high school and in the spring when an airplane would warm its engines across the street from our school we would all get a respite of 45 seconds or so, which was like a lull in the bombing.
Photo of the Day
AP via Yahoo O.S.T. and I watched about ten minutes of this today and here's what we saw: Gary Lewis and the Playboys singing that horrid oldie "This Diamond Ring," followed by a very bloated, very shaky Jerry Lewis crying with one of his kids and finally a clearly sick Ed McMahon promising "More, with Charro, Lance Burton {??}, and Godknowswhoelse, straight ahead!"
Monday 01 September
Is your boss an idiot?
CNN
It's Labor Day and many of us are sitting home, getting paid. So, CNN, why not go easy on bosses and run this some other day?
Scores of Freed Mink Feed on Farm Animals
AP
Speaking of idiots {CNN} the people who let these 10,000 animals loose take the cake. In comparison, this teen who unleashed the Blaster2 worm is not so much an idiot but was, rather, in over his head. His worm affected only 7000 computers and was basically small change. Yet his photo is all over the place and he faces 10 years in prison and a $250,000 fine if convicted.
Elephants in the Sky
ABC News
Fascinating bit about how much a cloud weighs. Speaking of clouds, I've always called big fluffy ones "mashed potato clouds," a phrase which drives my Darling Wife absolutely mad because "it's wrong poetically, it dulls the perception of that kind of cloud, which is nothing like mashed potatoes....'cotton-ball clouds' would be more like it." Well, Darling, I Googled both phrases and I hate to admit it, but you win: 788-31. Dammit. :)
Asteroid strike ruled out for 2014
MSNBC
Ok, so there's not going to be an asteroid hit in 2014....and alien infections probably won't wreak havoc on the earth, but I gotta know...is Dukakis really advising John Kerry? And why would Kerry want help from the man who was one of the biggest losers ever in the Presidential sweepstakes? In fact, He should do everything Dukakis tells him not to. It surely couldn't hurt.
Johnny Depp Says U.S. Is Like a Stupid Puppy
Reuters
The Owensboro, Kentucky native would have actually taken a stand had he yanked his Pirates of the Caribbean from American screens. But that didn't happen, did it?
Asteroid Heading for Earth, May Hit in 2014
Reuters
And then again chances are one in 909,000 that it won't. But, y'know, people bet daily on lotteries that offer even worse odds.
Dukakis Offers Kerry Campaign Advice
The Boston Channel
Omg,of today's four links, this one is absolutely the most alarming...the most appalling...the most horrific! It's enough to make your brain explode. Purge it immediately!!!!!
Will France Scrap Christmas? Government Mulls Abolishing a Holiday to Finance Elderly Care
TBO.com
Frequent commenter BIL passes this one along as an example, I assume, of the deterioraton of French society, but I am going to argue that it's a good thing and that governments should not be in the business of subsidizing religious holidays. It's time for a clean break. No paid religious holidays.
Slender threads tie 19 to terror
Toronto Star
We linked to this the other day when I called this crew "the third string," but maybe it's just a case of hysteria. (I wasn't up in Canada, but I can just imagine the news reports and film clips, tying this all neatly together.
Supporters Seek Return of Alabama Ten Commandments
Reuters
Let's skip past the obvious and go directly to the grand Christopher Hitchens and his article in yesterday's Slate, in which he asks the million dollar question: "This leaves us with the insoluble mystery of why he would have molded ("in his own image," yet) a covetous, murderous, disrespectful, lying, and adulterous species." Which reminds me of the old George Carlin bit in which he examines this juvenile concept of God: Think about it. Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever 'til the end of time!
But He loves you. He loves you."
Baseball Games to Be Broadcast in HDTV
AP Oldest Son Tommy dragged me into a Best Buy two days ago to get a new server, and I wandered over to the TV section to check things out since we've been reduced to watching a ten inch screen this summer and....wow...has anyone seen this $9900 flatscreen HDTV that is on the market right now? It is fabulous. I think I'll buy a $400 set, however.
Thursday 28 August
No smiling! We're Canadian
Toronto Globe and Mail
Lighten up, Canada, you have it pretty good up there. You have wonderful beer, Montreal, great hockey, a low murder rate, Toronto, a social system envied by many, Vancouver and, of course, your true national treasure...Shania Twain....er, i mean Coffee Crisp candy bars.
Slammer worm crashed Ohio nuke plant net
The Register {UK}
I've mentioned before how my birding buddy Danny and I go up to Lake Erie annually to catch the spring warbler migration and how we've nervously kidded through the years, as we've heard distant rumblings, that this thing was about to blow.
Slammer worm crashed Ohio nuke plant net
The Register {UK}
I've mentioned before how my birding buddy Danny and I go up to Lake Erie annually to catch the spring warbler migration and how we've nervously kidded through the years, as we've heard distant rumblings, that this thing was about to blow.
Strange Breed
Strange Breed by Steve Langille
We open the week with this break from the normal.
Wiz Kid Starts Med School
Fox News
I asked both Oldest Son Tommy and our fourteen year old son Steve how old they thought this kid was and they both instantly nailed it.
Don't forget, 7.51pm Wednesday, we have to look straight up
Sydney Morning Herald
Have you seen Mars lately, moving from the eastern to the western skies? It's a nice, bright amber. On Tuesday, in North America, Mars will be the closest to Earth it has been for 59,619 years, or about as long since the Red Sox won the World Series.
Friday 22 August
Flashing your headlights may get you a ticket
wkyc.com
This is treated as a common courtesy on the highway down below us. A road on which, by the way, 2 people have been killed in the past 3 years. One lady was probably drunk and lost control, while the other lady was creamed by a semi-driver, not speeding, who was "looking at something off the road and never saw her turn signal."
Chirac demands heatwave facts
BBC
Yesterday they were claiming 5000 died. Today it's up to 10,000. At this rate it won't be long before all of France will have died last week.
LBJ was behind JFK's assassination, upcoming book contends
centredaily.com
Aha! Immediately after Mr. Teeley informed our 8th grade class that Kennedy was dead I whispered to my best friend Greg that LBJ was behind it. I was also pretty sure that the Fatima letter held the key to world peace and that Frank Sinatra would never die.
`Miami Vice' Actor Johnson May Sue German Ministry, Stern Says
Bloomberg.com
Something very strange about this case. RIght after it happened I distinctly recall Johnson denying it. Now it seems the $8 bill belonged to another person in the car and he's about to sue because the German ministry tipped off the press? What would be the damages? His career's in the dumper, but when you are that close to $8 Bill, who cares, eh?
Wednesday 20 August
Apple fans snap up 'fastest' Mac
BBC
Even though my switch to 2000 went extremely well, I'm just about ready to make the switch to Mac, but I think I'll wait a year when, rumour has it, a laptop version of this will be released.
French heatwave toll may reach 5,000
London Mirror
Oddly enough, no other European country had as many deaths, but here's one theory why it happened: ''When we get rid of elderly people during the holidays, leaving them alone with a full refrigerator and a telephone as an alibi, we should not be surprised that they die alone."
Librarian's Web site draws scrutiny
Skagitvalleyherald.com
Local librarian's job is in jeopardy because she also ran a Dominatrix web site. This reminds me of the old Your librarian hates you web site. Nonetheless, as long as there wasn't any outright porn on her site, it should not have been an issue.
Top Party School: University of Colorado
alcoholism.about.com
Buffalo alum everywhere must be cringing, but where's Ohio University or Michigan State on this list? Loved radio-host Phil Hendrie's take on this: "They should just call this the list of the top ten most boring campuses."
Tuesday 19 August
Sources: Sabotage Cannot Be Ruled Out In Blackout
FoxNews
Let's see. Officials keep insisting Thursday's massive blackout was not an
act of terrorism, but they can't rule out hackers. By their logic, someone breaking
into a computer system and and disrupting the lives of a few million people is just
a prank, then?
Second Audiotape of Baylor Scandal
FoxNews
Bizarre case, where the focus has shifted from the murder of Baylor U's
Patrick Dennehy to former basketball coach Dave Bliss and allegations that
he tried to get others to portray Dennehy as a drug dealer. The question is,
what did Bliss hope to achieve from this?
No. 10 Knew: Iraq No Threat
Manchester Guardian Tony Blair's advisor warned him about claiming that Hussein presented an "imminent
threat" due to Iraq's banned weapons programme. Looks like Bush isn't the only one who
leapt before he listened.
Malfunctioning Elevator Kills Man
CNN.com
Another one not for the faint of heart. Or those who have to step into
elevators daily .. like me.
Monday 18 August
Abraham: Lawmakers Must Act on Energy Bill
Fox News
While attention focuses on three power lines in the Cleveland
area, Energy Secretary Spencer Abraham
argued that the Bush Administration has been doing all it can to prevent
failures like last week's. Oops. Silly me, I thought the Bush Administration was
focusing all its attention abroad.
Far From Groovy
ABC News
The ever-opinionated George Will throws Denver politics
into the same class of the recent circus of California politics because a guy wants the
city to implement "stress-reducing" measures. As if enforced sitar music is any worse
than that muzik forced on hapless victims?
Major Finish By Micheel
MSNBC News
An unheard of Shaun Micheel sinks an "amazing approach
shot" which wins him the PGA Championship, while Tiger Woods has
the worst showing of his pro career. Could this be the beginning of the end of Woods' bright star?
Largest-Ever Blackout Hits Eastern U.S.
Washington Post
Had my panicked, Beloved Mother on the phone from suburban Detroit this afternoon as she breathlessly related that her neighbor Dorothy had assured her that this was a retaliatory terrorist attack. "Nonsense," I replied, {and this was before I had flipped on the tube for info} "this reminds me very much of similar breakdowns in the 60's and 70's. There's probably some fried switch up in Buffalo that needs to be replaced." Mom, only slightly mollified, assured me that her car was backed up the driveway "nose pointing out in case I have to make a run for it." O.S.T., who is home for a couple of weeks, laughed that "Bush only wishes that this was terrorist-driven, because then "Watch Out North Korea!"
The blackout does raise a number of interesting issues though. Canadians and Americans alike are sitting in the dark right now, their sweltering kitchens lit by flickering candles, and if that's not an international brotherhood, then I don't know what is. Obviously, if it happens to be that area again, that Niagara electrical grid is a security risk and needs to be overhauled. Both countries should be prepared to get out their checkbooks. Meanwhile, I wouldn't want to be the mayors of Detroit or New York tonight. They have to be two very nervous dudes.
Funnyman Franken Fires Back at Fox's Lawsuit
Reuters Funnyman? This guy was lambasted awhile back in a showdown with Fox News' yak-meister Bill O'Reilly. So, this run at Fox is not accidental. He wants revenge and the unfortunate part about all of this is that the book, given the pub it has received the past few days, has soared and is now #4 on Amazon.com.
Wal-Mart, Aware Its Image Suffers, Studies Repairs
NY Times
They're going to hire Mom and Pop types to stand at the exit to make sure no one is stealing anything? No, wait...they already do that. Well, maybe then they'll hire Mom and Pop types to stand at the entry to fake-greet the incoming customers when in reality they're merely guarding another exit? Nope...they already do that, too. NY Times login; edportals password: edportals
Times Reporter Detained Near JFK Airport
AP
They should fine the Times heavily for this. This kind of nonsense, sneaking guns past airport security guards and the like, is done for ratings and ratings alone.
PSS Security Response Team Alert - New Worm: W32.Blaster.worm
www.microsoft.com
Here's the patch to stop Blaster, the newest net demon, which affects Windows XP, Windows 2000, Windows Server 2003, Windows NT 4.0 and NT 4.0 Terminal Services Edition. Those of us still running 98, not to mention all Mac users, are off the hook.
Phone tones 'to beat CD singles'
BBC
Earlier today our 14 year old bought one of these for two dollars. What a scam. Too bad we didn't get in on this one.
Keeping Wal-Marts Out Of The City
www.planetizen.com Oldest Son Tommy is visiting and remarked about five minutes ago that he hates the "gradual eradication of culture that has occurred over the past fifty years." Cultural homogenization, to me, is just evolution at work. OST counters, rather uneffectively, that "homogenization is based on the lowest common demoninator which then leads to extinction." No, son, it leads rather to neat back-to-school sales.
Bush Close to Backing $1 Billion Loan to U.N.
The Atlantic Online
$1.2 billion to update the UN Headquarters? Since every member country uses the building, shouldn't this be paid for out of some kind of building fund? They could make a contest out of it, kind of like a Financial Olympics.
Tuesday 12 August
Fox sues humor writer for using "signature" slogan
Reuters
Frankly, I've never thought that Franken is funny. Even back during his SNL stint I found his mugging for the camera style irritating. However Fox seems way out of touch here. Google the phrase and you'll find 43,900 "fair and balanced" references, making it a common phrase that belongs to the people.
At pool, Speedo love abounds
The University of Tennessee Daily Beacon
I was thinking about this during our recent week at The Ocean. I happened to notice that young women were wearing very skimpy two piece bathing suits. And I mean skimpy. Some wore them with confidence, but others were plainly uncomfortable. The guys, on the other hand, had suits on that reached their knees. That old, not-so-subtle message that females are to be publicly viewed as sex symbols is alive and well on the beaches of America today.
US Olympic Hockey Coaching Legend Dies
voanews.com
Although few mention it today, the 1980 Miracle on Ice was not televised live in the States. It was on a Friday afternoon and ABC ran it during prime time that evening. We were living in Detroit and my Darling Wife was in medical school. My beloved Mother-in-Law watched our Mary while I worked that day, so I got to watch the game live on her little black and white because the CBC did run it live, but with their announcers and no famous "Do you believe in Miracles?" climax. Thanks, Tesciowa.
In America, 'vacation' means work
The Modesto Bee
Lemme tell ya, our vacation was all work, especially out on The Beach where several of our little ones thought they could wade safely out to Cuba, but that's what happens when you hit the road with 5 kids, three under the age of seven. Now my Darling Wife and I need a vacation!
Sea shell turns out to be WW II grenade
Living in Germany
One of the nicer things we did was to visit an uninhabited barrier island which we combed for shells. On the walk back to the boat my beloved Mother-in-Law walked right past our boat and had to be headed off 1/5th of a mile down the beach before she fell off the face of the earth.
More than 150 file for unprecedented governor recall election
signonsandiego.com
One of the 150 is Don Novello, the actor behind "Father Guido Sarducci." Novello also wrote a series of books that became legends in our house 20 years ago. Novello wrote tongue-in-cheek letters to company heads, politicians and the like under the pseudonym of Lazlo Toth. As I recall Nixon was one of the few who caught on and answered him in kind.
Van Morrison Signs to Blue Note
NME.com
Van is one of the very few who has more than held up over time. His last CD, 2002's Down the Road was excellent and a gift to me from BIL. His previous work, a duet with the unknown Linda Gail Lewis, Jerry Lee Lewis's younger sister, was a total and rare bust. His move to the legendary Blue Note label probably means a jazz album is straight ahead.
Friday 08 August
Hijackers, Not Passengers Deliberately Crashed Flight 98
Boston Globe
Investigators now believe hijackers crashed the plane, not an insurgent of
passengers. Who cares? If the passengers hadn't tried to storm the cockpit, there
would probably have been one less building standing that day. Don't cheapen their
sacrifice, guys.
The Governator
Manchester Guardian
Claiming that Schwarzenegger has plotted his
political rise from an early age, we are at least reassured that he could never
reach presidency: the Constitution precludes those born outside the U.S. Meanwhile,
Davis' party support is now
collapsing at the sight of the Barbarian at the gate.
Cig Co. Targets Celebrity Smokers
CBS News
As one who now has an unpleasant case of asthma from secondhand smoke and whose house is impermeted
with the stench of it, I find the idea of a company pushing to make an addict of someone for
life disturbingly immoral.
UK's Naked Walked Continues Trek Despite Arrests
CNN
And this last, in honor of the oppressive humidity that's been blanketing
parts of the US this past week: Trotting around the UK in nothing but socks and boots, the walker claims public
reaction had been largely positive. Of course it has. They're jealous.
England is suffering from one of its hottest summers and everyone wants to
strip down to nothing!
Thursday 7 August
Ginsburg: Int'l Law Shaped Court Ruling
Yahoo
Contributed by BIL: "Oh, great! The Supreme Court is making decisions based on
Euro-faddism. Ruthie, you took an oath to uphold and defend the U.S. Constitution. If you don't want to do that, please step down."
Boy Punished With Fire
Washington Times
Another from BIL: "Wow, this is one sick bastard. Of course, the father may wish to appeal
his case to the Supreme Court, which, given it's new, international approach to law, may just find in his favor, citing a Sherpa tribal law
calling for the burning of the tongues of liars. What do you think, Ruthie? You lie, tongue fry?"
Marine Pleads Guilty in Parachute Tampering Case
CNN
The guy cuts the suspension lines of 13 parachutes, three Marines were injured when they jumped
with these defective parachutes, and they don't hit this guy up with attempted murder? Is there an
International law that covers this, BIL?
Peterson Turned Down Offer to Avoid Death Penalty
Foxnews
It doesn't matter if his wiretapped phone calls prove Peterson killed his
wife since they "violated state and federal laws". Those international laws are
starting to look better and better.
Wednesday 6 August
Episcopal Church Elects First Openly Gay Bishop
Foxnews
Cleared of a 11th-hour accusation of "inappropriate touching", the Rev. V. Gene Robinson
is voted in by a 62-45 margin, prompting a claim that the voters had departed from the
"historic faith and order of Jesus". Huh?
Man Sentenced After Springer Appearance
Yahoo!
This just bolsters my theory that most such talk-show guests are idiots. Could
this be why Sharon Osbourne seems to be getting
cold feet for her own talkfest show?
Survey: Teens Admire, Rely on Family
CNN
I'm sure this will be a comfort to Ed, who is hopefully enjoying his vacation full
of kids and ocean and sand!
Jesse Ventura Contemplates Run for President
azcentral.com Ventura received an award for "bringing professional wrestling to a higher level
through his work as a politician". Then we have Larry Flynt throwing his hat
into the California gubernatorial ring with the slogan "Vote For a Smut-Peddler Who Cares." And finally, we have
Arnold Schwarznegger announcing next week
whether or not he'll join the fray. Whatever happened to rising through the political ranks?
Detroit Shines Image For Super Bowl
Detroit Free Press
Amazing how cities often plead they're too poor to afford cleaning
up their slums and decaying buildings.. but let them become hosts or possible
hosts to a big name event, and watch the money start flowing!
Time for a Woman President
7 am.com
"Women are oriented to practical solutions, problem solving and cooking", thus
they are far more suited to leading a nation? Reminds me of a book I read back in
the 70s titled Who's That Lady in the President's Bed? about a retired schoolteacher
inadvertly elected President of the United States. A (male, of course) classmate thought the title meant the woman
was someone romping with the (male, naturally) President.
Lard Remark Sparks War of Words
twincities.com
State legislator suggests prisoners eat this to save the state money. I guess
no one ever told him about Reagan and his infamous 'ketchup is a vegetable' remark.
Monday 4 August
The Truth About Polygraphs
Boston Globe
As most people know, just sitting in a doctor's office can raise your
blood pressure and give a false reading. I'll bet it shoots even higher when
you're at the dentist.. so it's beyond me while polygraph champions don't expect
the same thing to happen with a machine which could doom you, like it did this
poor sap.
National U. Pulls Offer to Killer of 3
SanDiego.com
I dunno. Maybe he took a polygraph test and it falsely convicted the guy. After all, look at how
exemplary his behavior has been from the time he was jailed.
Woman Sues Hotel After Treadmill Accident
1010wins.com
"It's like this, your honor. The treadmill was so close to the wall that there
was nothing else to look at, and I became mesemerized, and forgot I was on a treadmill.."
"Madame, I'm afraid we're going to have to prove you're lying!"
Camera Phone
Used as Crime Stopper
MSNBC.com
On the other hand, there's no arguing with a camera. Is it time to equip
our children with camera cell phones? Or is there a company out there who can make
cameras the size of cell phones without the phones?
Friday 1 August
Sam Phillips, 80, Producer Who Discovered Elvis Presley, Dies
NY Times
Talk about legends, he also discovered Johnny Cash, Jerry Lee Lewis, Roy Orbison, Conway Twitty and Charlie Rich. Of the bunch, Orbison would be my far and away my favorite with Charlie Rich coming in last. Login: edportals password: edportals
Dotson says Dennehy betrayed him
Mercury News
I've followed collge sports for over forty years and I've never seen anything as nasty as this: One Baylor University basketball player is arrested for the shooting death of another and the shooter claims that he acted in self defense. Yeah, right...that's why there were multiple headwounds. Sorry, pal, this is Texas and you are gonna fry.
Bryant Loses Bid to Skip Colo. Court Date
Washington Post
In more sports news....if this thing goes to trial, it probably would happen sometime around February, or, in other words, smack dab in the middle of the NBA season. Either Kobe, the Lakers or the NBA pay her a ton of bucks to drop the charges or the Lakers season will be in ruins.
Court Ruling Allowing SMS Divorce Is Overturned
Reuters via Yahoo UPDATE:"We decided that while it may be correct from other angles, it is not the way to get a divorce." Too late, the world is already laughing.
Thursday 31 July
Spam Senders Have A New Weapon
nbc11.com
I've seen a variation on this for over a year now. I'll get spam from ed_portal@yousuck.com, making it look as if I myself had sent the spam. Now they've spun that one step farther, sending mail from that address to others, who then might associate it with me. Not that this would bother me, but it would definitely anger people who base their businesses, in part, on their good name.
Hormel fights to protect SPAM trademark
SiliconValley.com
Has anyone out there eaten spam? My mom would fry onions and then quickly saute the product and feed it to us and I recall, once or twice, thinking that it was actually good. My best friend as a kid, Greg, once told me that his Dad served in the Navy and had to eat Spam 500 days in a row, or something like that. Spam was a four letter word in that household forty years before the rest of the world's.
Wednesday 30 July
Arabic classes soar in popularity
campus-watch.org
Interesting, since our own O.S.T. took Arabic recently. I'm all for reaching out to people that have trouble being understood in our culture, like conservatives and liberals. But the collegiate bullies in power actually try to discourage diverse thinking.
Dalai Lama misses sex, shoots guns
news.com.au
Born into a Tibetan peasant family in 1935, the Dalia Lama was recognised at the age of two as the reincarnation of his predecessor the 13th Dalai Lama. So right from the start, this guy was tapped for celibacy.
TV, Radio Losing Teens to Net
BizReport.com
Not a surprise at all to anyone who has a teen. They can sit their for hours, listening to their mp3's, while instant messaging each other. Actually, that doesn't sound all that different from what I do.
An Act of Peace
commondreams.org
Dominican Sisters Ardeth Platte, Carol Gilbert and Jackie Hudson entered Minuteman III silo N-8 near Greeley, Colo., on Oct. 6, the anniversary of the bombing of Afghanistan, barely damaging the silo with their hammers. Now they face 6 years in the slammer and they should expect nothing less. It's part of the deal and they should serve it with dignity, and hopefully someday, like Nelson Mandela, they will have the last laugh.
Tuesday 29 July
Test Results: Smallpox Vaccine Hazardous to Health
conspiracyplanet.com
Regular contribultor BIL sends in the first two links today and this first one
reminds me of the conversation I had over the weekend with O.S.T. who claimed that I was endangering the planet by using Roundup on my weeds. My reply was to tell him to "turn off the Science Fiction channel."
Researchers help define what makes a political conservative
UC Berkeley News
There's nothing like a nice piece of unslanted analysis and this 2nd piece that BIL sends in is nothing like that. It's so slanted, it's almost humorous, except I'd like to point out that the liberal writer in this piece uses the same type of demonology that the Tories have used in the past and that would be dragging in the inevitable comparison with Hitler. Run whenever you see anything or anyone compared to old Adolph. Something is amiss.
Bob Hope 'still joking on his deathbed'
Ananova
I wasn't going to add a Bob Hope link, but my Darling Wife and I watched About Schmidt this evening. I thought it was a bio of former Detroit Lion great Joe Schmidt, but it turned out to be a kind-of-nice chick flick. Early in the film we get a hint to its solution. Schmidt is watching an old Bob Hope film and then remotes away to one of those Save a starving African Kid commercials and the phone number ends in the letters hope. And that's how Schmidt ultimately finds hope....salvation...by reaching out. Note that Bob himself was still reaching out....right to the very end.
Telemarketers sue over do-not-call list
Kansascity.com
Cute to watch these jerks now complaining that "The FCC ignored its obligations under the federal law and the Constitution to carefully balance the privacy interests of consumers with the First Amendment rights of legitimate telemarketers." They weren't concerned about balancing privacy rights in the past, when they were bombarding our houses with calls, were they? If indeed this does add two million to the unemployment ranks then perhaps the Dems can use it as ammo for a weakened economy.
Metrodome wind blows in Twins favor
Akron Beacon Journal
I am not all surprised that "A former superintendent at the Metrodome admits he tried to help the Minnesota Twins by adjusting the ventilation system during the late innings of close games in an attempt to get baseballs to carry farther." I expect jazz like this to happen, and not only in sports. Take presidential elections. Choose one and let's call the two opposing forces the Dems and the Tories. And let's say the Dems are steamrolling along on election night. In fact most of the national networks are already calling the election in their favor. However, during an interview with the Tories' father, who himself was prez once-upon-a-time, Dad says "Not so fast. We have reports that Fluorida didn't fall. Don't count that one quite yet." That, my friends, would be the Groundskeeper Rule at work.
Pierogi TV
Northwest Indiana News
What? They had a Pierogie Fest and my beloved mother in law was not invited? I am shocked. Her potato pierogi rock!
John Paul II Enjoys Outing in Gran Sasso
Zenit News Agency {Rome}
Why not start the outing at home, in Rome, like at the next meeting of the College of Cardinals?
Rape during 'special prayer'
news24.com {South Africa}
But these are the jerks who should be outed.....right out of the church.
Burgers are "Devil's Food."
Sky News {U.K.}
But, don't get me wrong. Idiots exist in every faith, as witness this nut.
Thursday 24 July
High Drowning Rate For Black Boys
Sacramento Observer
We have our wonderful, little Black son Sam in swimming, but I wonder if this is more of an urban phenomenon and not so much a racial one. I grew up inside Detroit and can't remember too many kids that knew how to swim.
Saddam's cousin 'betrayed sons'
thisislondon.co.uk
Interesting tilt to this article, focusing on the "betrayal angle" rather than the heroic one.
Rice, Rice, Baby!
Village Voice
Writer hates to admit it, but he has a huge crush on Condi Rice. I've been thinking that Rice would be a great presidential candidate. That way we'd get our first Black and female president all in one package.
Girls Find Frog With No Eyes
Orlando's Local6.com
State officials say it's doubtful that this was caused by pollution, yet a turtle with two heads was found nearby in May. Local bottles water sales must be surging.
Christina Ricci living in fear of house plants
Ananova
I have phobias and I admit it. The sight of guys on my doorstep, dressed in trenchcoats, for example, creeps me out. But actress Ricci is crazy. She thinks that swimming pools have a magic door that will swallow her up. Everyone knows that it's the lights that get you, not the magic door.
Obese Americans 'to sue McDonald's for $100bn'
Manchester Guardian
Stopped with the kids on our way back from The Hometown and sat across from a very large fellow at Mickey D's who was jamming down 2 huge sandwiches and I felt like I was at a train wreck in progress. It was hard to look away. But, who knows....in another year or so we'll probably be reading that Scientists claim that eating 3 Big Macs a Day guarantees a long life.
The End of the Line for Penthouse?
MSNBC
Not a good time for Bob Guccione who also has throat cancer and you an blame the internet for this one. Online porn did Gucc in.
Man's signature offends DMV
delawareonline.com
This is kind of cool: a fellow trains himself to sign his name upside-down. One problem, however: the window clerk at the driver's license bureau refused to accept it, telling him to "stop fooling around and sign it right."
Friday 18 July
Witnesses Against the Mafia Sometimes Feel Alone, Says Bishop
Zenit News Agency
Just alone? How about terrified out of their minds and looking over their shoulders 24/7. In other Catholic News, "A New Mexico family is suing their local Catholic church over a funeral Mass in which the priest allegedly said their relative was only a middling Catholic and going straight to hell." I've been to plenty of funerals but haven't heard anything this juicy, though I keep hoping.
Woman dumps man for his online alter ego
iol.co.za
I've been chatting online for over 10 years but have never seen anything this messed up: "A Taiwan man who used a different identity through the Internet to double-date his girlfriend, has committed suicide after the girl fell for his email-based alter ego."
Numbers game in predicting heart disease risk
Ananova
If a male has three of these five signs, then he may be at cardiac risk: "fatness around the waist, elevated levels of triglycerides - a kind of blood fat - low levels of "good" cholesterol, high glucose and high blood pressure." Hmmm, I'm down to 2 of the five now...but was at 3 when I had the m.i..
Masturbating Lowers Prostate Cancer Risk
Reuters Good news for many of us guys: "Australian scientists have shown that the more men masturbate between the ages of 20 and 50, the less likely they are to develop the disease that kills more than half a million men each year."
Metallica Sues Band Over Usage Of E, F Chords
411mania.com
In fact, using Metallica as my guide, from now on I am sueing anyone who masturbates. You have been warned! My Darling Wife can step up her retirement plans. We'll be cruising, baby. This is gonna be more lucrative than med school!
Man who ate own penis now under mental care
New Straits Times Online
"Under mental care"? Not enough! They should treat this guy like Hannibal Lecter. Tie him up, stick him in a cage and hire armed guards to monitor him 24/7.
N Korean warns Australia could face nuclear strike
Sydney Morning Herald
Did you see that William Perry, who served as defense secretary under former President Bill Clinton, believes the United States and North Korea could be at war as early as this year? These North Korean dudes are scary. Listen to their advice to Aussie Prime Minister Howard, who will be talking to the South Koreans later this week: "The North Korean message is to be careful in talking," Mr Myong-Chol said.
"Otherwise, harm to Australia." What the hell is wrong with their brains? This is not 1952 and Bush is not Ike. If they pop Sydney, we level them.
New terror attack by Jemaah Islamiah feared
Financial Times
Changing times: back in the day, Jemaah was a bullfrog. He was a good friend of mine. I never understood a single word he said, but I helped him a-drink his wine. And he always had some mighty fine wine. Now he's hooked up with al-Qaeda, bombing stuff in Bali.
The Most Offensive And Degrading Entertainment Ever
Infoshop.org
Men are paying thousands of dollars to shoot naked women with paint ball guns in Las Vegas. Offensive? Definitely. Degrading? Certainly! But, c'mon... professional wrestling is far worse than this.
Mom Learns Of Son's Death On Answering Machine
The Omaha Channel
Just yesterday I signed a release which now allows my cardiologist's nurse to leave me messages on my answering machine inforning me of test results. "Hello, Mr. Portal? This is Krista, Dr. Heartdoctor's nurse....your latest liver panel results are in....Man, you SUCK!!!!!!!.....I hate to say this....but you are in such deep shit!"
Monday 14 July
Inmate Sought Pen Pals Online After Plea in Internet Sex Case
NY Times
Did you see the bit over the weekend about convicted child killer Susan Smith? She is looking for love online and she's not alone. Trot over to write a prisoner.com and check some of these winners out. Sylvilla Humphrey
, for example, is a cute 5'10" African American who is looking for a "good man someone special, classy, honest and clean. I'd like someone who enjoys life and lives it to the fullest, but he's stable in all aspects. I'm a very outgoing woman with a lot to offer the right man." Only one hitch...she's in the joint for murder.
Missing Python Slithers Out of Dutch Toilet Bowl
Reuters via Yahoo
My kids came back from Holland a couple years ago and expressed amazement at Dutch toilets. Apparently they use very little water and some kind of brush then comes across the area in a sweeping motion. We don't have anything like that here in North America, so no need to worry about pythons in the crapper.
Love Me
Atlantic Monthly
Long-time readers will recall us regularly linking to Slate.com's advice columnist, Mr. Blue, who was actually the humorist Garrison Keillor. This piece gives us some insight into those columns and into Keillor'
s rather strange mind.
Classic Good Girl & Romance Covers
Samuelsdesign.com
We stray momentarily from the mundane world of daily headlines and shift, instead, back fifty years for a look at a purer, more innocent time.
Springer To Be A Candidate, At Least On Paper
Ohio Network News
Coming to a voting machine near here. I can just see this guy winning and then running for president in '08. God help us all.
Thursday 10 July
Pictionary led to convict's rage and hostage-taking: report
canada.com/alberta
Ah, you see, my Darling Wife, it's not because I was too busy watching hockey, or messing with my website to play Scrabble with you and the kids. It's because I was protecting you!!
McDonald's faster fast food
Money.Cnn.com Wayland sends in this one about the newest trend, Self-serving kiosks., which my visiting sister Annie hates because "if I am going to pay the higher prices, I want someone to serve me." Not me. I just wanna get out....the faster, the better.
Photo and information on married detective put on singles site
Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel
Reminds me of a couple years ago when a friend called for help. Her hubby, a local M.D., was being impersonated in a Yahoo Chat Room. There wasn't much she could do except file a letter.
Nike to Buy Sneaker Rival Converse
Reuters via Yahoo
Back in the day, Converse was the sneaker. That was back in the day when tennis shoes were called sneakers. Of course, no one under 35 calls them tennis shoes now. Back in the day, a saying I don't recall hearing five years ago, by the way, has 153,000 direct Google Search Requests.
McDonald's to Offer More Convenience with Wireless
Reuters via Yahoo
I can't see the appeal of wolfing down a Big Mac and logging on at the same time to check my email, but maybe it'll work. One new twist I do like, however, is the addition of Powerade to their menu.
Man Who Introduced Cool Whip Dies at 86
Springfield Missouri News-Leader.com
I could have opened with a bit about the death of Buddy Ebsen and tied it in with Buddy Hackett's death last week by making a comment about buddies dying together. Or I could have linked to this bit about Brad Pitt forbidding crew members from looking at his feet. But neither of the Buddies, nor Brad, have had an impact on our lives when compared with the inventor of cool whip. A little cool whip mixed in with some fresh berries. One of life's true delights.
Only 16 taboo words left
London Telegraph
We could guess the sixteen, but what really interested me was this: "There are now, it appears, only 16 taboo words in use in English, including the f-word and c-word." How silly. Every reader understands what the f-word really means and immediately translates it mentally. But the c-word? I can think of several so-called c-words.
Will brush with law raise Kobe's 'street cred'?
ESPN
This is exactly what I wrote about yesterday and it doesn't matter whether he has charges filed or not. Nor does it matter whether he did it or not. His street cred is on the rise. It was a brilliant and sound financial move.
Docs prescribe red wine
News24.com
How about this: British doctors are "forcing the patients to drink it {two glasses/night} for its antioxidant properties, whether they like it or not." Next doctors will surely prescribe mandatory NFL football viewing! And I can't wait...let's get this season going now!
Monday 07 July
Kobe arrested
for sexual assault
MSNBC
A good, and much needed, career move for Kobe Bryant. Despite being one of the NBA's elite players, he still has not gotten the huge shoe contracts that others, including high school phenom Lebron James, have and that's because he does not have so-called street cred.. This move, being busted for sexual assault, is going to do wonders for his credibility. Watch the endorsements follow.
They can say goodbye, but can they mean it?
Philly.com
I don't know about you, but whenever I hear some group is on their Farewell Tour I automatically assume that their last tour was a flop and that their rent on some villa is due.
Dell Drops Company That Used Prison Labor
AP via Yahoo
Yeah, we wouldn't want them to learn an actual trade while in the slammer. Better they go back to lifting weights, planning their latest break out...er, appeal and hanging around the showers, waiting for someone to drop their soap.
Thursday 03 July
Florida Man Accused Of Calling 911 Hundreds Of Times
The San Diego Channel
His parrot Jimmy made the calls? He must have 911 programmed on his speed dial, but this guy should be in jail, bird or no bird. He could have moved the phone or enclosed it or any number of things. Our kids have called 911 accidentally through the years and the cops were not exactly happy campers when they make their follow-up calls.
Cellphones a curse for 911 operators
www.canada.com/ottawa
Check out this alarming stat: Toronto police take over 100 accidental 911 calls a day. Calls where the speed dial was bumped, etc.
Federal "do not call" list may not stop all telemarketers
WMC-TV Memphis
As my beloved mother-in-law pointed out the other day, there are groups of people who will still be allowed to call: ". Political and charitable organizations, survey companies, insurance companies and companies you've done business with can still call you at home." Bad news for us, because I guess that up to 25% of the junk calls we get are charity-based.
Nobel poet proclaims his respect for Eminem's 'verbal energy'
U.K. Independent
I totally agree with Seamus Heaney, the Nobel Prize-winning poet. I hear this brand of rap coming from our 14 year old Steve's bedroom daily and it stuns me how important the word has become to that generation. Older generations love a good lyric, but this is something far deeper. This is an attack-dialogue between rapper and listener that skips right past melody to zoom in on the verbal-kill and that, in itself, is not a bad thing. In fact, it's similar to what goes on around our dinner table.
Kennedy wife a 'cokehead'
news.com.au
While John-John and his wife Carolyn were, according to Bush, "capturing this nation's imagination", what was really happening was instead tragic and scary. She apparently was a cokehead who called her husband "fag" and chased around after former boyfriends. In fact, she held up their final departure because of a pedicure that lasted forever because she kept changing the colors. One can only hope that this book helps end forever the silly Kennedy appeal. No more family appearances on The Today Show, no more puff-pieces in People. Nothing. We need these people to go away.
Hillary's History
Weekly Standard
Great review of Hillary's book by the acid-tongued P.J. O'Rourke who actually read the book and informs us, among many other things, that Hillary and Bill never drive and that she flunked her D.C. bar exam.
Tuesday 01 July
Miller Emerges as New Voice for Bush Re-Election
Reuters via Yahoo
I've watched Dennis Miller for a long time and there's on doubt he's veered to the right, but I ran this link to get BIL's reaction. You must be in quandary, bro. The comic you love to hate is your new posterboy.
10 Million Sign Up for 'Do Not Call' List
Reuters via Yahoo
That's me, one of ten million, but what I don't understand is Co-editor' Kay's comment the other day that she had signed up months ago. I was under the impression that registration was not accepted until last Friday.
Greek diet can lengthen life
femail.co.uk Dear Abby: I love Greek food, but my Darling Wife does not. I've eaten at kimchee korners, sushi dives and Thai hot spots by the score, but can't seem to drag her into a place that serves decent grape leaves. I miss the sizzle of the saganaki, the bite of the hard-crusted bread, even the pits of the olives. If I have to eat one more tekka-maki, Abby, or one more bowl of miso soup, I may not be responsible for what happens!
Help me out, please. Opa lovin' Opie.
Comedian Buddy Hackett Dies at 79
Netscape News
Never iked the guy's act, but I recall one night when Hackett, a frequent guest on Johnny Carson's Tonight Show, stunned the audience by claiming he had been hooked for years on pot. Carson was uncomfortable while the audience wasn't quite sure if Hackett was fooling around or not. When it became clear he wasn't, Carson broke for commercials.
Monday 30 June
Katharine Hepburn
dies at 96
CNN Bren sent in this link with the comment "I hope you'll be running something about Katharine Hepburn's passing, she was a wonderful actress." Indeed she was, Bren....The Rainmaker, The African Queen, and Guess Who's Coming to Dinner were my favorites.
Top Senator Backs Amendment Banning Gay Marriage
Reuters
One of the more annoying parts of the American constitutional system is, at the same time, one of its strengths and that is how difficult it is to get an amendment to our Constitution passed. There are two ways to go about it. A Constitutional Convention can be called, but that would be highly unlikely because the whole system could be tossed overnight and we could awaken to find A Kennedy-Bush monarchy in place. The other way is a state-by-state process that is so tediously slow it almost guarantees failure. Chalk this up as nothing more than a bid for headlines.
Her collection fills 3 volumes
Richmond Times-Dispatch
I collect old headlines, including some WWII, a few about the Vietnam War, Man on the Moon, Wings Win the Stanley Cup, that kind of thing. And somewhere deep in my basement are boxes chock full of Occupied Japan stuff, so I understand collecting. But this collection....it's strange!
Boys find out gymnastics 'really cool'
Everything Alabama.com
Not here in Hooterville, where our 10 year old, Mikey, has been in 'nastics for years, often times the oldest in his class. But you should see how many kids are into dirt racing!
Japanese Hot-Dog Champ Devours Opponents
CNN
The article makes no mention of earlier this year when this Kobayashi dude faced a Kodiak bear on the Fox TV show Man vs. Beast. He stuffed his face at what seemed to be an unbelievable rate, but the bear, almost casually, slammed them down at least three times as fast. Radio sports talk show host Jim Rome quipped the next day that "One place you didn't want to be 20 minutes after that thing ended was in the same bathroom as Kobayashi...because what goes in must come out."
Friday 27 June
Thousands Sign Up for Anti-Telemarketing List
Yahoo
Our sole weekend link is to the new American anti-telemarketer Do Not Call page. I registered yesterday, although it took 25 hits of the refresh button. Just think....no more annoying "Hello? (dead silence for 8 seconds}...may I speak to Mr. or Mrs. Ed Portabello?" Have a nice weekend, everybody. We'll be back Monday.
Single Pill Aims to Cut Heart Disease by 80 Pct
Reuters
This will only be of interest to my Darling Wife because she is the one forced to hear me complain nightly about having to take 7 pills at a time: British scientists "are working on a new pill that combines six compounds -- aspirin, a cholesterol-lowering drug, three blood pressure medications and folic acid -- in one tablet called the Polypill which they say could cut the risk of heart disease by more than 80 percent."
Supreme Court strikes down Texas sodomy law
CNN
A no-brainer. The article quotes the Rev. Bob Shenck, a member of the National Clergy Council: "That {this ruling} is an undermining of our concept of justice in this country." Let me get this straight: Gays cannot have anal intercourse, because that would undermine our nation's morals, but straights can? What kind of pindick-reasoning is that?
Alleged peeping Tom hid cam in shoe
CNN
While we're on the subject of pindicks, check out what this geek was doing: "A camera lens the size of a pinhead was discovered placed on his shoe laces and linked via a wire in his pants to a video camera."
Musharraf: We are after al Qaeda
CNN
No wonder they can't find bin Laden. The Pakistan army is pushing into areas that the government hasn't entered in over one hundred years. One hundred years!
KFC Drops Jason Alexander As Pitchman
AdAge
"When asked whether Mr. Alexander's affiliation with PETA led to the split, the KFC spokesman referred calls to Mr. Alexander." In other words, you can bet on it. Since Alexander's statement didn't refer to PETA, you can also bet that behind the scenes all hell must have been breaking loose.
Filter-Bashing Alive and Well
Wired News
As Jan pointed out earlier in the week, that's the problem with filters: they don't work. For example, I set up a filter, without editing the settings, on our son Mike's new computer and it blocked The Detroit Free Press for being New Age..
Filmmaker Lee wins round over Spike TV
Indy Star
Interesting match-up, no? Spike Lee vs. MTV. Meanwhile, Spike Jones's heir wants in, claiming his dad was the original Spike. If Spike Lee wins, by the way, then Los Angeles Kings defender Maxim Kuznetsov should consider suing the men's rag Maxim.
Nestle sued over bottled water claims
CNN
I hope some of you were able to see Penn and Teller's hilarious expose of bottled water on their Bullshit! program on Showtime several months ago. They had fake bottles of imported water served to restaurant patrons who guzzled the stuff {"straight from the melted snows of Mount Kilimanjaro " when it really came straight from the garden hose}. The patrons, of course, loved the water, claiming it was "so much better than tap." They also interviewed a few scientists who pointed out what this suit claims: much of bottled water is, in fact, worse than tap. Not everyone, however, was amused by the Penn and Teller show. Check out this bottled water trade mag and their rather insipid response.
"Comical Ali" captured
Reuters via Yahoo
The now-legendary Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf is busted.
Tuesday 24 June
High Court Upholds Library Web Filters
ABC News Co-Editor Kay, a librarian, and I have sparred over this many times in the past and it pleases me that the Court has come down on the side of common sense and decency.
Easthampton split by Treehouse plan
Daily Hampton Gazette Kay sends in this local bit about building a community centered on adoptions, with Kay writing that "It's disturbing when people are more concerned about their property values than they are about providing an opportunity for a loving home to a child." A lot of people, especially older property owners, Kay, have their entire finances centered upon their property's value. Threaten that and you threaten them.
Castro's behavior baffles analysts
Miami Herald "Three months after Cuban President Fidel Castro launched his harshest crackdown on dissidents in decades, there's still no agreement on what drove him to take such steps and then lash out at valuable European allies that criticized him."
Why is this so baffling? The aging Mao and his tragic Cultural Revolution was far worse. Both men were lifelong revolutionaries. Both knew death was imminent and that their legacies were likely to be washed away in a sea of Western dollars, so they retrenched.
Screaming won't solve problem of spam
Seattle Times
A nice musing which reminded me of a different type of spam that I ran into last night when I slipped up and typed http://hotma8il.com/ instead of www.hotmail.com and it was like stepping on a hornet's nest as four windows immediately popped open. The first advertised "Adult Suede Wheelchair Pushing Cuffs." Now, what kind of loser-medical supply sales_idiot would actually try to drum up sales for wheelchair cuffs by sticking his/her message on a pop-up that somebody gets when they mistype the word hotmail? Exiting that page caused another "search" page to emerge. This one was sex-oriented and the page somehow ditched my browser's address line. Killing that page popped the following message up onscreen: "Would you like to set your home page to http://ie.twrds.com/r.phtml/d/35/n/XVsWVVhdWlhPUw0O/?" Yeah, you know I got up this morning and thought "I am so sick and tired of CNN being my homepage....all the time it's nothing but natural disasters, plane crashes and war...What I really should do today is to switch my homepage to http://ie.twrds.com/r.phtml/d/35/n/XVsWVVhdWlhPUw0O/ !" No, you freaking pop-up porn-pushing pervert. Nobody in this entire galaxy wants your stinking, sick web page as their home page. Nobody!
And that was only the first pop-up ad.
Senator: Trash illegal downloaders' PCs
CNN
And we start with this link submitted by Wayland who wonders "how corporate America will feel once they have to buy department
after department new computers...I guess all that tech spending might boost
the economy." Maybe that's the idea, W! However, The London Register has Hatch backing down from his bizarre statement and also points out that "Senator Hatch's Web site appears to be in violation of a software license requirement related to the javascript menus he's using."
Time-Scout Monitor Limits Kids' PC, TV Time
PC World
We limit our kids' TV time, but I always think of computer time as educational, even if they're on the Nick Jr. web site 10 times a day..
A Wearable PC
PC Mag BIL, I know you collect militaria, so this link is for you.
RIAA warns ISP subscribers
ZD Net
Proving its bark is bigger than its bite, the Record Industry merely sends out letters after battling Verizon in court to get the name of five of its users suspected of llegally offering massive amounts of copyrighted music through peer-to-peer networks. Millions of downloaders breathe a sigh of relief and then load Kazaa.
Thursday 19 June
Blue Food Blues
CNN
Garlic cake? Canned adult baby foods? Chocolate french fries?
Who stays up nights dreaming up these things? I'm surprised nobody
promoted ground acorn flour back in the '70s.
Prisoners Marry, May Honeymoon in 2036
ABCnews
Must be true love, considering the husband gets out of prison next spring
while his beloved has at least another 36 years to go. Will he stay faithful?
Does anyone know if squirrels stay faithful?
As If By Magic, Potter Turns Up In Canada
London Times
Just to show that the U.S. hasn't a lock on nutty news today, here's a
link that claims the latest Harry Potter book
magically turned up on a Wal-Mart shelf in Canada, and the New York Daily News
is being sued by author
Rowling for publishing tidbits from the book and causing "damage to intellectual property rights".
Veteran Actor Hume Cronyn Dies
MSNBCnews
While some people may remember Canadian-born Cronyn from Cocoon,
I first saw him in the 1983 movie Foxfire. I've long forgotten
anything in that movie, but Cronyn's performace was so remarkable
that it left an indelible impression of his particular talents.
Now, That's Reality!
Reuters
An Irish reality show got off to a rocky start, literally, when a boat carrying
its contestants hit a treacherous coastline and sank. Now, that's really reality!
Republic of Arnold
Canoe.com
Could Schwarzenegger be following in the footsteps of fellow actor
Ronald Reagan?
Why Europe Still Doesn't Get The Internet
CNet
It was late and I had trouble finding a fourth link! Back in 1996
the absurd Communications Decency Act was called a
"violation of the First Amendment's guarantee of free expression". Now the
Council of Europe - of which the US is a member -
is finalizing a proposal which states that a "right of reply" must be offered
by pretty much anyone who posts to the Web.
Monday 16 June
Calif. Man Wins Plane Toilet Ice Lawsuit
ABCnews
"Mike Fergus, a spokesman for the Federal Aviation Administration, was surprised
at the decision." Is it all that rare when someone sues only for the
exact cost of repairs, instead of inflating it into a multimillion dollar lawsuit?
Ministers Shun US Model For Supreme Court
Manchester Guardian
But, fellas! How can the US court system be seen as politically corrupt
when a Joe Schmoe gets blue ice justice?
That's Not A Trash Bag -- It's Art!
Miami Herald
Columnist Dave Barry takes a bemused look at the
world of art. I'm not a fan of abstract art myself - payouts like these make me think
people are more into it for the money than for the true expression of self, and I'm
forced to wonder exactly what the "artist" is trying to say by flicking lights off
and on in a room - "Hello, I want your attention, pay me"?
Why Do We Pay What We Pay?
Seattle Times
Ever wonder why it costs you $5 for a bag of 50-cent
popcorn at the movies? Or why Clarinex costs so much? It all has to do with
a lot of complicated gobbledygook, folks! Just like art!
Thursday 12 June
PETA tells FTC Iams Web site distorts truth
Dayton Daily News
Hmmm, if web sites actually have to tell the truth then I am in big trouble. Seriously, however, PETA might have a case, if their claims are true. But, since I am not one to pass by a chance to bash PETA, here's an article from Brock University's college paper which rips them apart.
FTC creates national ‘Do Not Call’ list
Fort Meyers NBC2.com
You know this law must be good because both the Direct Marketing Association and the American Teleservices Association have filed separate lawsuits to stop it. I always feel a little ambivalent towards telemarketers. Oh sure, I'll get upset after racing up the stairs to answer the phone, only to have Discover ask me, for the three hundredth time, if i would like their new Account Protection Plan. On the other hand, I try to picture the voice on the other end of the line...2 father-less babies at home...the rent is past-due...K-Mart laid her off 6 months ago...no health benefits...the cost of smokes being what they are, etc. So, I tell them very politely that I am not interested and wish them luck. Then I hang up
FTC: 'Coral Calcium Supreme claims false'
Washington Times
I hope it's not indicative of the type of radio programming I listen to, but I am hearing more "herbal remedy for sexual dysfunction ads" lately and it's perplexing how these guys are allowed to advertise this junk. They always wrap up the ad with a furious machine-gun burst of denials: "not intended as a cure, not inteded as a guarantee of anything, not really worth a damn, but send your money anyway, suckers."
Wednesday 11 JuneLove in Bed with Virgin?
Yahoo News
A nothing story, so don't bother reading it, but can anyone guess, without looking, what it refers to?
The Great Rebate Scam
Slate.com
"They owe you a $50 rebate. Here's how they will try to delay, trick, and bully you out of collecting it.
" Ever have a rebate coupon but not the requisite upc code, box top, receipt, etc? I have. It's maddening. You get nothing. Rebates alone, however, won't drive a product. AskFord: Ford U.S. Sales Fell in May as Rebate Appeal Waned. And even if you get your cash, there's controversy over what to do with it: Give $155 rebate cheque to charity, churches urge
. About 438,000 Nova Scotian taxpayers will get a one-time tax rebate of $155 in June or July. So, if we have any readers from N.S. let me clearly state that I would be glad to spend that rebate in a worthy manner. Find my email link, please, and send for my address.
Sinatra Seems to Be Man of the Moment
Yahoo
Have you seen the NBA ads that have Old Blue Eyes crooning , superimposed over some playing hoopsters? What's even worse is the similar Elvis bit. Elvis and the NBA? Could there be a more unlikely pairing? C'mon NBA, put the Temptations out there or the Chi-Lites, please, and not this pandering, silly crap.
Tuesday 10 June
New Twist in Stewart Case
Fox News
This is a link from last Friday that still bugs the hell out of me. One of the final charges laid against Martha Stewart claims that she "committed a crime when she stood up in public last summer and denied engaging in insider trading." It's one thing for prosecutors to shoot at Martha with all available ammo, but this charge bothers me. In the US, you are presumed innocent until proven guilty. It is commonplace, even expected, for crooks to shout "It wasn't me!" and then it's up to the government to prove it was. Martha was doing what all defendants do and I'm hoping the judge sees through this flimsy personal attack.
Italy in flap over how to clean David
Toronto Star
How many of our readers have seen art as rare and precious as Michelangelo's masterpiece, David? We saw David back in the early 80's when it was brought to Chicago as part of a Treasures of the Vatican Art Tour. As I recall, we were allowed to enter a room and look at it from a distance of about 35 feet for about 35 seconds then were shoo'ed off.
Famous Birthdays for Monday, June 9, 2003
Cybercast News Service
I know I'm a day late commenting on Michael J. Fox, who turned 42 yesterday, but I still want to question ABC's decision Sunday evening to interview Fox at the Spurs-Nets basketball game. The guy gamely went through with the "celebrity in the stands" interview, but it was agonizing to watch him struggling with his disease. Let him watch the game in peace, ABC, please.
4 of 5 kids get inappropriate spam
CNN
Which is why I installed a cyber-nanny type program on our soon to be 10 year old's new computer, but this is one reason why sending out massive porno email spams is freaking evil.
Critical distance lost in a media age
San Francisco Examiner
For those who don't know, I walk a lot, well over 1000 miles last year and it never ceases to amaze me how many other walkers are plugged in....often tightly clutching their CD players in much the same manner that people hang on to their portable monitors in hospital wards. What is it about not being plugged that scares people? An author here argues that this is the natural effect of postmodernism: "American culture as a whole has grown increasingly spellbound by electronic media to the point where now every other person we see wears a headset, has a cell phone to one ear or eyes fixed on some porthole of cyberspace."
Billy Bob burns Angelina's blood
AzCentral.com My Darling Wife once asked me to run every Billy Boblink I run across, so this one's for you, my dear.
Friday 06 June
New system could speed up Web downloads
CNN
You could d/load a movie in minutes? Be prepared, then, for MONSTROUS hard drives. Imagine one thousand gigs! What would they call that?
Altnet to pay Kazaa users for swapping
Cnet.com
No, we wouldn't get paid for swapping pirated software, but, rather, for hosting software that can legally be swapped.
Verizon Can't Protect Traders
Wired.com
The Record Industry is targeting several Verizon cosutomers for swapping illegal files, but Verizon resisted and refused to turn over their names. I wonder how the RIAA decides whom to go after? How can they pick four users? The last time I opened up Kazaa it had 4,483,863 users sharing 912,263,551 files. But that seems to be the record industry's current tactic. For instance, here's a college kid who had to pay a $14,000 fine.
AOL Subscriber Defections Continue, Top 1 Million
Wasington Post
While on my annual birding trip last month I messed around with the hotel's Business Center hookup. Some business center, it was a 28.8 AOL dial up and I had 28.8 for years so I'm very familiar with it, but AOL at 28.8 is maddening. So, it is gratifying to see that others agree with me, such as this bit in The Akron Beacon-Journal which describes AOL and MSN as becoming increasingly irrelevant.
Spector Says Actress Shot Herself After Kissing Gun
Reuters
Unlike Sosa and Stewart, Spector has a history of being unstable, but if I was forced to bet I'd say that his story is the more believable of the three.
A Double Life
St. Petersburg Times
We close out today's threads with the most unlikely story of the bunch. Thanks to jan for the link.
Wednesday 04 June
Bryant gets 3-year sentence
Zanesville Times Recorder
Sad, sad case here in Hooterville where a local college student put her newborn into a garbage can and he died. She probably didn't know that most states, including Ohio, allow the mother to drop the infant off, no questions asked, at any hospital emergency room. In this case the mother got 3 years in prison, which will probably be whittled down to six months. However, doesn't this woman really belong in a mental hospital?
Poll: 56% back separate murder charge for unborn baby
WorldNetDaily
The majority of Americans apparently believe that Scott Peterson should be charged with two murders, and, if he is, he could get the death penalty. So, to avoid the Big Chill he's resorting to Johnny Cochran-type techniques: Mystery man sought by Scott Peterson defense team. One thing O.J. had going in his favor is that a jury of his peers meant a jury with an agenda. A jury that distrusted the police. A jury of Scott Peterson's peers will be more likely to follow the evidence.
Medical Examiner: The Raid Killed Her
Newsday
And what's Johnny Cochran up to these days? He's representing the estate of 57 year old Alberta Spruill. "Spruill, 57, a longtime civil servant with a heart condition, went into cardiac arrest after 12 police officers stormed her Harlem apartment May 16 on a bad tip. The officers had detonated a flash grenade intended to stun and deafen the occupants and had handcuffed the woman before realizing their mistake." The estate has filed a $500-million wrongful-death lawsuit. Johnny's busy on other fronts, of course. Cochran is also representing a deceased Northwestern football player's mother who is accusing the school of destroying the player's health records as part of a blatant cover-up. It seems that wherever there's injustice Johnny will be around to clean things up.
Tyson says he wants to rape victim and her mother
Mercury News
Of all the participants in the O.J. saga, no one has prospered more than Greta Van Susteren. She's moved far beyond the sleaziness of O.J. to hosting her own nightly Fox News show where she now interviews the likes of Mike Tyson who made the above startling declaration last week on her show. To prep for her new Fox gig, remember how Greta underwent the knife? But even her bright new eyes haven't stopped FoxNews's post-Iraq War slide in the ratings. Currently they edge out the Cartoon Network for fourth place overall.
Tuesday 03 June
The Smoking Gun
The Smoking Gun
We argued last week about Sultaana Freeman's right to wear a veil for her driver's license photo. Well, the Smoking Gun has discovered an unveiled Illinois photo of her and the probable motive behind her demand.
We're being oppressed by government seat-belt laws
Fredericksburg.com Robert A. Perkins of Spotsylvania, Virgina would not agree with the Illinois decision, arguing that "Mandatory wearing of seat belts violates our right to freedom of choice."
Police say seat belt stats don't lie
The Press-Enterprise.com
On the other hand, The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration says that "between 1975 and 2001, the most recent year for which statistics are available, 147,246 lives were saved nationwide through seat belt use." Which number might include that idiot who cut me off on I-70 yesterday.
Richard Chamberlain Comes Out of the Closet
FoxNews.com
Poor fellow, forced to kiss all of those Hollywood starlets on camera down through the years...all just to get a paycheck.
Studies: Tobacco giant targeted gay market
Gay.com
Great line near the end: "Tobacco kills more (gay) people than AIDS, gay bashing and all sorts of other things combined." Tobacco companies are extremely adept at isolating groups like gays, teenagers and women. Groups that feel disenfranchised. Groups that will subliminally welcome support from anywhere, even weed pushers.
Sunday 01 June
I'm With the Band: A Short Cultural History of Wedding Rings
Village Voice
A few years after we were married my Darling Wife started the insane rotations that the 3rd year of med school requires. At the end of a 30 hour surgical rotation she groggily got dressed, came home and crashed, unaware that her wedding ring was in her scrubs. To prove how long ago this was, the hospital laundry let us, without any protection, search the dirty scrubs. We didn't find it.
Ovary Cash -- Will I Sell My Eggs to Cover Wedding Costs?
Pacific News
Love this into: "As a young bride-to-be frets over wedding costs, she considers selling eggs from her own ovaries to a service for prospective parents. Is she is a procreative prostitute or a thrifty and compassionate modern woman? "
My Big Fat Cheap Wedding
Mootley Fool via Yahoo
No wonder she thought of selling her eggs: the average wedding today runs......$18,874 and, to put this into perspective, the average automobile technician makes $32,620.
A New Twist On A White Wedding
nbc5.com
Today our sweet little three year old, Thea, serves as a flowergirl in a Hawaiian-motif wedding in which none of the parties is of Hawaiian descent. This perplexes my Darling Wife and me. What's next? Mountain climbing Sherpa-motifs? Weddings where everyone dresses as a cat? Insane Clown Posse themed weddings? If you think I exaggerate, check out the Nbc5 link above. Anyway, I'll take many photos this afternoon and will post some of our darling little grass-skirted one here later this evening.
Well, the wedding is over and little Thea was great...holding it together until after the vows, then crying for 15 minutes as her form of release, no doubt. It was a lot of pressure on a 3 year old. Heres a photo of her going up the aisle as flowergirl.